First off, it is my hope that my kids will love HapKiDo as much as I do and I wont have to make them train because they will want to! I am realistic though and am aware that there is a good chance that at some point in their life before they leave my care they will lose interest and want to stop. Now of course I do not have a crystal ball so can't say with 100% certainty what I will do when that time comes. At the time that I am writing this though I feel pretty certain what I will do and why I will do it. So without further ado, here is why I WILL make my children participate in Martial Arts.
Any time someone asks me if I will make my kids do Martial Arts, my initial thought is always "Of course!" To me, that question is the same as "Are you going to teach your child to read? Will you make them go to school? Do you care if your child has to tools to succeed in life??!!" I imagine if you ask any parent those questions they will all answer in the affirmative! To me, Martial Arts training is just as imperative to the development of a person. Now I do not believe that someone needs to be as involved in Martial Arts as I was as a kid, and am now as an adult, to be successful. I do however feel very strongly that the benefit of having a regular and consistent training regime is invaluable (especially in the formative adolescent and teen years.) So, now that you know how I feel let me explain just a few of the reasons why I feel this way!
Martial Arts is the perfect teammate to parents!
This first point may seem a little self serving, and it is in a sense, because martial arts makes the job of a parent easier! But this is not just for the effect of making a parent's life better. In my opinion one of the most important job of a parent is to prepare their child to be constructive and contributing member of society. When this is done it ultimately leads to life being better for the child, and the world as a whole. The parent's responsibility is to raise a child that is well adjusted and self sufficient, and to develop the child to hopefully be a part of humanity as a whole bringing us as a planet to a higher level of existence. Martial Arts is the perfect aid to the parent in this task! A good martial arts program will instill values that are universally considered to be valuable to having a strong and positive character. Traits such as compassion, discipline, focus and respect just to name a few. The classes will also teach kids the importance of taking care of our bodies, starting children on their journey of a healthy life. Imagine if adults grew up and were even 10% healthier than they are now! The benefit that would bring, not just on an individual level but to society as a whole, is mind boggling! Good parents attempt to teach their children all of these things, and Martial Arts has been here for thousands of years to help, and in this day and age it is much more accessible than ever before!
Lack of Confidence is a HUGE cause of many of society's problems, and Martial Arts is the CURE!
So many of society's problems such as depression, bullying and drug abuse can be improved if not completely resolved through increasing confidence at a young age. Whether it is the strength to stand up for yourself or the positive self image required to not feel the need to "fit in" with the wrong crowd, confidence will help a child make the right choices to steer their life in a positive direction. Some people are naturally born with confidence, and others are not. Some peoples' lives cultivate confidence organically, and other's seem to smother any semblance of confidence before it blossoms. Martial Arts has the power to help everyone, not matter what their level of confidence is, learn to believe in themselves and not be drawn in a negative direction due to a lack of confidence. The result of this confidence flows over into all areas of a Martial Artist's life. This is a benefit that I personally have experienced through my martial arts life, and I look forward to martial arts helping my children having confidence in themselves as well!
Martial Arts will teach your child how to control ego and emotions.
So as an equally important counterpart of the increased confidence discussed above, Martial Arts teaches kids and teens how to control their ego and emotions. Being extremely confident without also staying humble is a recipe for disaster. Just as not having belief in yourself is destructive, having an inflated image of yourself is going to lead to problems socially and emotionally. These two lessons must be learned in unison! In my opinion, and from my own personal experience, martial arts is perfect for this. As a teen boy growing up and figuring out my place in the world as a man, it was invaluable to me that no matter how great I felt I was at the skills I was learning there was always someone there to put me in my place if needed. No matter how much of a bad@$$ I felt like I was becoming, if my ego was ever out of line there was always someone bigger, stronger, more skilled, etc. The best part about this is that in the moment as you learn that you aren't God's gift to the fight game, you also quickly learn that getting upset wont help the situation at all but it will actually only make it worse. This teaches you to control your emotions and use them constructively. There are not many things in life that can provide this for us, and I think it is crucial to the development of an adult to know that you cannot just do whatever you want just because you want to. A good martial arts instructor can (and will if needed) teach this lesson in a safe and controlled environment, which is much preferred to learning it as an adult in their career or worse in the streets from someone who may be willing to seriously hurt or kill them.
Martial Arts is hierarchical.
Traditional Martial Arts is set up in a way that teaches us how to be a follower as well as a leader. All great leaders are exceptional students, they know what it takes to be a good follower and that knowledge is one of the factors that makes them exceptional. I think this skill is something that is invaluable to anyone hoping to be successful in life. I want my son to be a leader of course, but if he doesn't know how to be a follower when he is supposed to be then he will never reach his potential. Traditional Martial Arts is a great teacher of this skill because it is a very hierarchical system with a rich history of tradition and etiquette. Learning to follow a system like this may seem outdated to some, but from my experience being involved in traditional Martial Arts since the age of 6, the best students who have the most success are the ones who use this system as a way to develop and demonstrate their strength as a person.
Martial Arts teaches compassion and the value of life.
Learning how to effectively hurt people teaches the importance of not doing so. Many of the kindest people I have ever met are very skilled in the martial ways. Through training Martial Arts you learn the importance of kindness and compassion, and are able to practice those character traits on a very deep and personal level. The idea that Martial Arts, learning how to be fight and being skilled in violence, promotes compassion is difficult for some to grasp. But those who understand it see a very deep connection. I want my sons to understand compassion on the deepest level possible, and I know Martial Arts will help them with this.
We use the hashtag #HapKiDo4Life, and that to me means that HapKiDo is for the entire life, of myself and every around me. Now.....you have had a glimpse into my brain ;)
